The holiday depression


”I am so bored!” sa Sølver idag och satte sig på elementet.
”Me too, look I am not doing anything..nothing..” jag viftade med händerna för att visa upp min skärm.
”Looking at camera lenses?” konstaterade han.
”Yeah..I want a new one and I am not even using the one that I already have”.
”You’re going out to take pictures at some point?”
”I figured that I know, do things that happy people do. It’s about time to get over my sadness or something”.
”Ah you are not a sad are a happy person most of the time” sa Sølver och log mot mig.
”Well lately I don’t know..he is leaving you know when he is moving to Singapore?”.
”No I don’t know anything”.
”It is the last week ever that we have together..and then he is feels so final all of it”. Jag tittade ner med blicken, han åker snart och det känns så sorgligt.
”It is a good thing that he is leaving..isn’t it?”
”Well I’s just so weird.. it makes me feel sad”.
”Don’t worry about will pass”. Sølver visste inte vad han skulle säga men jag tror att han förstod min smärta, att jag inte har kommit över Edward och att han kommer att fattas i mitt liv..på något sätt.

”Yeah.. it is this december sadness..with the christmas and the darkness..and then it is january..the most horrible month of the year”.
”I might have to celebrate new years eve at a party with a bunch of kids” sa Sølver och såg helt förstörd ut.
”Kids? Why would you do that to yourself?”.
”Nat, I am an old fuck. All of my friends are getting boring with family lives and kids..I barely get to see them anymore”. Han sänkte blicken och såg ledsen ut.
”Sølver I am getting old too, my friends are getting married and having kids too”.
”You are not old, I am”.
”Yeah and I am right behind you” sa jag och tittade ut mot rummet.
”Look at me..I have to spend christmas at my parents”.
”I know that feeling..when they all have these christmas parties in their homes, with family and kids and all of that..I go to my parents too. It is sad that after all these years I got nothing I can call my own..”.
”Christmas at my parent’s..huh!” Sølver såg så uppgiven ut, det gjorde ont i hjärtat.
”Hey don’t let the swedish holiday depression hit you too..I went to Malmö yesterday and felt like a failure. When the stores closed down, everyone went home to their families living their square swedish lives. And what do I do? I am out there wandering the streets. It is sad really”.

”Well there are no people in my age anyways, they are all taken..I will rot alone”. Det gjorde på riktigt ont i hjärtat att se honom så uppgiven.
”No you won’t. You know..we should celebrate new years together..make some food and get drunk as hell and hit town instead of getting depressed”.
”Well yeah that could be nice” Sølver såg lite mer hoppfull ut.
”I’ll just check what my uncle had in mind if I have to be at their place but it could be get drunk around here. Sanna is going to some party with some italian people here in Copenhagen so maybe we could meet up with them too”.
”Sounds like a plan to me”. Sølver gick iväg med lite lättare hjärta. Jag måste rädda honom från tristessen, jag bara måste.



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